


With Every Single Beat of My Heart

by ninwrites



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cooking, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Future, Post-Season/Series 02, Romantic Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Self-Indulgent, Short & Sweet, Slow Dancing, Until season 3, drowning in fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 18:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12281928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninwrites/pseuds/ninwrites
Summary: Magnus comes home after a bad day, and finds comfort in Alec's love.





	With Every Single Beat of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blasphemous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemous/gifts).



> Title from 'I Was Born To Love You' by Queen
> 
> based on yara's 'malec cooking' thread - thanks to her, as always. lots of domestic crap because we're starved of s3 content.
> 
> a big bundle of gratitude to my awesome writing buddy [Sam](https://twitter.com/alecwinchesterr) for looking this over for me. You are made of actual sunshine ❤

 

There's a certain comfort that comes in returning home after a terrible day. Magnus has had this apartment for decades, since the eighties if his memory serves correctly, although the late twentieth century had started to run into itself by the end, endless ticking seconds turning into months that dragged on with heavy feet.

It's familiar and comfortable, a place that he truly craves on days that feel like weeks. Recently, it's been less of a place, and more the presence of someone that Magnus craves more; but Alec had reported a frustrating string of meetings with Clave representatives for most of the day, and the realistic, cynical part of Magnus doubts that luck will spin in his favour.

He's already won the universal lottery in falling in love with Alec, it would simply be unrealistic for him to expect more.

The door swings shut behind him, his long maroon scarf unraveling itself from his neck - it's not entirely practical for him to use magic on rather mundane tasks that he could very well do by hand, but he's had a horrible day and it's the small comforts that are most worth indulging in.

Magnus throws his coat on the rack, his favourite boots dumped beneath. He's a firm believer in treating belongings with respect, but when the point comes that every fiber of his being is yearning for the burn of straight liquor and a soft surface to fall down on, probably face-first - he has little energy to care for semantics such as the position of his boots on the floor or whether his coat is entirely on it's hook.

He trudges further into the room, dragging a hand through his hair, smoothing out the product that had kept it together over a day that had him constantly itching to tug at the roots, if only to dispel stress-induced frustration. His gaze slides to his drinks cart, the gold handles and crystal decanters, glasses of varying shapes and sizes and the silver martini shaker with a fond inscription from a dear, departed friend engraved upon the bottom.

A drink sounds like a fabulous idea, but before Magnus can properly entertain the thought, he picks up on a low sound, not quite a hum but something close to it. Music, he thinks, and something higher. Metal?

Magnus follows the sound, curiosity calling him toward the kitchen like a string tied around his center. There's the sounds of what must be chopping, and a - tune that grows familiar with each step, calling to a part of him he'd left behind in the eighties. He leans against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest as the words of the song drift around him - he'd taken to showing Alec all of the classics in recent months, from Pachelbel to Billie Holiday, to the darker records of The Rolling Stones and the daring late and greats, Michael Jackson, Prince, Bowie-

_"So take a chance with me, let me romance with you. I'm caught in a dream, and my dream's come true."_

Queen.

The smells coming from the stove are achingly delicious, stirring memories of his past that he hurries to keep down, dark and gritty, searing beneath his skin - he doesn't want anything to ruin this beautiful moment unfolding before him.

Alec is standing at the stove with his back to Magnus, hips bopping awkwardly to the rock tones of the song, head bent in concentration. He's singing along beneath his breath, husky and warm and it takes every last slip of strength inside of Magnus not to melt into a puddle right where he stands.

Alec is listening to Queen, he's dancing and  _cooking_  - for Magnus, if the enticing scent is any base to make a presumption off, and when was the last time that anyone had done that?

Under extenuating circumstances, perhaps, but Catarina has always been too busy to remember to feed herself, let alone anyone else, and he's generally too distanced from other friends for them to even bother. It's never been a problem, he's not averse to solitude and he's closely acquainted with his own presence, but he can't deny the joy at sharing an evening with someone he loves.

Even still, that joy is overshadowed by the disbelief that what he sees before him is truly happening. Alec, who only hours before told him he'd been stuck behind with meetings and paperwork, explaining mournfully that he might not even make it back until early the next day - is standing in Magnus' kitchen,  _their_  kitchen making dishes of Magnus' distant home.

It's too much for Magnus to consider how Alec got the recipes, enough to know that Alec is making the effort at all, that by some miracle he's made it home and his first priority is Magnus.

Not much of a surprise, because Alec is always putting others before himself, always thinking of all that he can do to make sure that those he loves are happy and smiling, but this is an extent that Magnus could never have anticipated.

"I would have thought those dance moves more appropriate for Pandemonium," Magnus says, conversationally, with a thin and foolish hope that his stupidly love-struck heart won't betray him. "Not that I'm complaining."

Alec startles - so much for Shadowhunter reflexes, Magnus thinks with a tiny smile - and whirls around in shock. "Magnus." His eyes are wide, but he looks pleased, and a little excited, with that precious smile of his that seems reserved for only Magnus.

"I certainly didn't expect to come home to  _this_ ," Magnus inclines his head. "I thought you had to work late."

Alec turns back to the stove, turning the dial down, quickly stirring the rice around the wide pan. "I handed responsibility of a few reports to Isabelle, they needed her area of assistance anyway, and one of the meetings got cancelled because the Inquisitor had-" Alec glances sideways at Magnus. "And this is a direct quote, 'better things to do', apparently."

Magnus hums sympathetically. "I must admit, darling, I'm not all that surprised. Or upset, because it's brought you here-" He steps forward, wrapping his arms Alec's torso. "A place which is, if I may be quite candor, the only place I'd like you to be."

Alec turns his head, so that his gaze is caught on Magnus', his mouth a teasingly small distance away. "In your arms?" Alec smirks. "That's the only place I ever want to be."

Before Alec came around, Magnus retained a solid reputation of someone who was fun, powerful and aloof, who didn't have the time to care about the opinions of others, who enjoyed the company of anyone and everyone if it so pleased them both. He was a myth, a legend of untold, because he'd let very few people in to see the real him, and for a long time that was the way he preferred it.

It's far easier to protect one's heart if nobody is let in to see it.

That is at least what Magnus had told himself, before the Circle member who tried to kill him in his own apartment, and the open-hearted Shadowhunter who'd helped save his life twice in the span of a day.

And then, again, time after time, with each loving gesture and tender smile, and every thud of his heart beneath Magnus' palm - with every selfless thought spared to Magnus' wellbeing, Alec has saved him.

Alec reminds him that there are things in life worth living for - love, most of all.

"I hope this means that you've become comfortable with the idea of using the key I gave you," Magnus mumbles, lips brushing along the collar of Alec's thin grey shirt. It's only been a few weeks, since Magnus had given Alec the little silver key, hanging of a silver chain for Alec to string around his neck if he so pleases.

Before today, Alec hadn't used it. He'd come into the apartment with Magnus by his side, or he'd wait until he knew Magnus was home before coming over. Magnus knew what a milestone a key would feel like for Alec - it had taken him a good while to even summon the courage to hand it over - and he hadn't blamed Alec for not using it.

It simply makes this, the first time Alec does use it - to come home and cook dinner for them, even more special.

"It felt like the right time," Alec whispers, his shoulders bunching up. Magnus dots a line of soft kisses against the juncture of Alec's neck, thumb stroking idly along his hip.

"You're even making yourself at home, in the kitchen." Magnus hides his smile against Alec's neck. "I'm not sure I've properly cooked anything in here for years, at the least, if not decades.

"I hope that's not a problem," Alec stirs the wooden spoon around the pan with a concentrated diligence, the way he does everything he puts his mind to. "I knew you were having a bad day, and I wanted to do something for you."

 _I wanted to do something for_ you. A tiny fracture cuts through Magnus' heart, but the pain is a welcome one. He's never had anyone who cares for him the way that Alec does, no one who'd even consider doing something this kind for him simply because they wanted to.

Alec cares in ways that Magnus has never before been privy to, but he doesn't presume weakness in Magnus, doesn't demean his power or his strength. Simply, tries his best, in any way, to alleviate some of the weight from Magnus' shoulders.

"You know that I can just summon anything with the snap of my fingers, right? Three seconds, and a king's feast could be spread on the table." Magnus feels a need to remind him, a need to make sure that Alec understands, this isn't something that's expected of him.

Easier, to do that, than listen to his stuttered heartbeat bouncing against his aching ribs, disbelief still rife within him despite evidence to the contrary.

Alec scoffs, with a slight shake to his head. Magnus lifts his own, catching the hint of a smirk playing on Alec's lips. "I think you mean steal," Alec corrects, teasingly.

The enticing smell of the  _nasi goreng_  in the pan twists Magnus' stomach. It's hard to get good nasi goreng in America, let alone by snapping fingers. It's a fairly popular dish, an addition to a lot of meals, but Magnus wasn't the one who taught Alec how to make it.

He can't remember the last time he made nasi goreng from scratch - it's not particularly hard, at the base it's fried rice, but the memories that accompany the dish often prevent him from attempting it.

"Mags?"

Alec turns around, hands gripping Magnus' upper arms. Magnus' hands are still on Alec's waist, a grounding force to the present, to this moment and not the ones that claw at his composure. Alec squeezes, encouragingly, his eyes studious and bleeding affection. "Is something wrong?"

Magnus shakes his head, even as tears threaten to fall. "It's just been a long day, angel."

A long lifetime, in fact.

Alec tuts, one hand sliding up to squeeze Magnus' shoulder, pressure as soft as a massage would require."You should get some rest," Alec urges. "I've got this covered."

Magnus shakes his head, the corners of his eyes burning with intrusive tears. It's not the appropriate time for heavy emotion to sway his thoughts, nor ruin the beautiful mood that is aching to be let forth.

Magnus needs to let go of his heavy past, for the next few hours at least, or else he won't be able to enjoy the moment for what it is - it is these fleeting days that he'll hold as cherished memories when time has passed him by. He doesn't want to miss a thing.

Nor, does he want to burden Alec with the somber thoughts rattling in his mind. He steps back, hands slipping to hold Alec's, gaze raking slowly down Alec's long form. "And miss out on this, rather charming domestic facet of my gorgeous boyfriend?" Magnus winks. "I think not, darling."

Alec rolls his eyes, though the gesture is fond. "You can set the table, then. Pop the cork of a wine bottle. The food is almost done."

Magnus pecks Alec's lips, quickly, the 'hello' kiss they'd not yet shared. "A task I can perform with minimal effort." Magnus pulls back, somewhat reluctant, turning his attention towards the liquor cabinet. "Might I ask what it is, we're having? I hope you're not giving me nasi goreng on it's own."

Alec laughs, warm and a little nervous. "I know I'm rusty when it comes to recipes more complicated than what you refer to as "army food" but I did my research." Alec gestures towards the oven, alight with an artificial glow. "I also made sat - sate ... madr-"

Magnus' heart sings, Alec's pronunciation weak but charming nonetheless. "Sate Madura," Magnus corrects, the words falling from his tongue.

It's skewered grilled meat, served with either peanut or spiced soy sauce. Often sold at outdoor vendors; a clear imprint in Magnus' mind, is rushing past such vendors, his mother's grip tight around his wrist to keep him from escaping because they only ever had so much time to get everything from the markets - the sweet, spicy scent following him for hours, burning in his throat. Nothing he ever ate as a kid tasted as good as the vendors smelt, and whilst he's sure it's just an innocent imprint, it's something he hasn't been able to shake off.

It's a simple, but delicious dish, and he's humbled that Alec would make it for him, with only the knowledge that it's a part of Magnus' culture to guide him.

"Yeah," Alec's expression lights up. "Is that ... okay?"

Magnus inhales as deep as his lungs will allow, nails digging into the center of his palm. "It's perfect, darling."

It's more than that. It's a gesture with more love than his poor heart can comprehend.

 

* * *

 

The food is ... good.

Not perfect, nor the way he remembers - the rice is a little overcooked, the sate a tad burnt, and there's not enough spice for Magnus' personal tastes; but the sentiment tastes better than the food and it's nothing more than a minor frustration in the grander scheme of things.

They sit across each other at a small rounded table that Magnus had introduced once dinner together had become a more regular occurrence. He'd been simple with the decorations, no rose petals or extravagant silverware - just plates and cutlery, glasses half-filled with a sweet red wine, and a few candles in the center to illuminate the slight crease in Alec's forehead after he's taken a few bites.

"Something the matter, darling?" Magnus swirls his wine around the glass, smirking at Alec from across the table.

Alec shakes his head, chewing almost thoughtfully. "It's not ... bad, is it?"

Magnus chuckles softly against the rim of his glass. "I've had worse." He replies, because it's the truth, but also because he doesn't want Alec to feel discouraged simply because he hadn't done it perfectly the first time around.

It's a gift - Alec has given Magnus a gift, and that is all that matters to him.

"Sorry," Alec shifts, shoulders bunching forward. "I wanted to make something special, and I know I'm not the  _best_  at cooking, but I thought if I just followed the recipe-"

"Alexander." Magnus reaches across the table, setting his hand atop of Alec's. He waits, until Alec glances up, reluctantly, his beautiful hazel eyes swimming with determination and slowly fading concern.

"There's nothing to worry about. Even if it was burnt, and we ended up getting food poisoning afterwards - which I highly doubt would happen - I'd still love it. Because you took the time, and effort, to make it for me."

Alec smiles, wry at the corners. "It will taste better next time." He states, turning his hand so that Magnus' falls into it.

"Next time?" Magnus raises an eyebrow slowly, skin warming at the charming laugh that slips between Alec's lips. "I think that  _next time_  I'll extend my services." He squeezes Alec's hand. "Might be, fun, to try it - together."

"Together," Alec smirks, teeth pressing dents into his bottom lip. "I'd like that."

"Me too."

 

* * *

 

Magnus insists on cleaning up; that is, using a tiny burst of magic to transport the used cutlery and crockery into the sink, to soak in hot water and a ridiculous amount of bubbles on the firm condition that Alec will wash them by hand later - it was reluctant on Magnus' part, because he doesn't want Alec to feel he has to do everything around here, it's not a role he has to fulfill, cleaning the apartment.

The key is not a contract. It's an invitation, open and unbinding.

Alec, on the other hand, doesn't like the idea of Magnus wasting his magic on menial, "mundane tasks" that Alec himself can, and is happy to do. It would be fruitless, and has proven to be so, for Magnus to try and argue with him, so he doesn't.

He simply takes Alec's hand as soon as he stands up, leading him towards the living room. It's purely a coincidence, that there is suddenly space that wasn't there before.

"Dance with me." Magnus clicks, discreetly, a slow song rising from the stereo. Alec ducks his head, but Magnus isn't going to give in easily.

"Mags," Alec shakes his head. "You know I don't dance."

"Really?" Magnus wraps his arms around Alec's neck, his smirk gaining strength as Alec's hands land on his waist. "I imagine that drunk-Alec would disagree."

"Hey!" Alec frowns, but he doesn't pull away. "I was tipsy. I didn't even have that many drinks."

Magnus curls his hand against the back of Alec's neck, fingers pressed gently to the nape. "You were on the right path to becoming heavily intoxicated, my sweet. You pouted at a pool cue after you lost a round, and then attempted - rather sloppily, I must add - to flirt with me."

Alec shrugs, fingers twitching at Magnus' sides. "You flirt with me all the time. I thought that was a perk within a relationship."

"It is." Magnus agrees, pressing a teasing kiss to Alec's lips. "However, you didn't think you were in a relationship. And you were deeply saddened by the idea that I already had a boyfriend, whom I loved quite dearly."

Alec frowns, cheeks lighting with a heated blush. "Did you..."

"Did I explain that you were, in fact, my boyfriend? Naturally." Magnus exhales a tinkling laugh. "You cried. Thanked Raziel, and expressed your disbelief that such a "beautiful, ethereal being" could be yours. It was rather endearing. I've never felt so charmed."

He's teasing, but in no way joking - it was the first time that Magnus had ever seen Alec truly intoxicated, and it was nothing like he'd expected. Truthfully, he'd imagined Alec to be a sleepy kind of inebriated person, for all the weight of his reality to slip off his shoulders and fatigue drag him under until he is curled up, preferably with his head on Magnus' lap, if Magnus is permitted to be hopeful.

Instead, Alec was adorable, flirting and giggling, pink lips and bright eyes and teasing touches that sent shivers down Magnus' spine even as he tried to keep Alec standing. It was sweet, unbelievably so, and still a moment that Magnus holds dear, even now.

Alec rests his forehead against Magnus', curling closer so that their chests are close enough for Magnus to feel Alec's heartbeat pounding behind his ribcage. Dating a Shadowhunter, he's come to appreciate the reassurance a simple heartbeat can bring, the reminder that they are both alive and breathing and together, in this moment where little else matters.

"I should probably get back to the Institute soon," Alec whispers, his nose bumping against the tip of Magnus', cheeks warm from the sheepishness colouring his porcelain skin.

Magnus rolls his eyes, kissing the corner of Alec's growing smirk. "It was funny the first time, Alexander, I'll admit that - however I think you're due for some new jokes, now."

Alec's hand slips beneath Magnus' shirt, his hand resting against the small of Magnus' back. "You didn't think I needed to go?" He asks, smile toying at his mouth, candlelight flickering in his eyes.

"It wouldn't be a problem if you did." Magnus brushes his lips against Alec's, soft and teasing. "I'd give you too much incentive to stay behind."

It's not entirely true, for if there was really a disaster or an emergency that required Alec's presence, there isn't anything that Magnus would even attempt to keep Alec from going. It is something that he can joke about, though, in the safe bubble of understanding that's surrounding them; there's truth in everything, and the truth of Magnus' joke is that the last thing he wants is for Alec to leave.

Alec smiles against Magnus' lips, and the kiss is little more than that, but it's tender and sweet, melting away most, if not all of Magnus' leftover stress. Alec has this charming ability of making everything seem okay, again. He reminds Magnus that there is more to the world than arrogance and hate, that he'll always has something good,  _someone_ good to come home to.

"There's nowhere else I want to be," Alec whispers into a kiss, lips brushing against Magnus'.

They're swaying, just slightly, to the slow tunes drifting from the stereo. Magnus isn't sure if Alec even notices that they're moving, though calling it moving is a bit of an exaggeration for how closely entwined they are.

 _"Take my hand, take my whole life too,"_  Drifting from the stereo, notes of endless love and the impossible force that it becomes.

It's a song that Magnus used to believe was overplayed, before Alec. Before he found someone who he could connect to the song, someone who made his heart beat to the same tune as the chords of the music that wraps around them.

"I love you," Magnus says, pressing a kiss to Alec's temple, one hand sliding to grasp Alec's upper arm. It's not the first time they've said it today, and it won't by any means be the last, but it's a moment that stands on it's own pedestal all the same.

Alec smiles against Magnus' cheek, arms tightening around him. "I love you, too."

"Really," Magnus pulls back, eyes locking on Alec and the adorable frown starting to crease his forehead. "Alexander. I love you. More than I've loved  _anyone_."

"But you," Alec cuts himself off, jaw working silently. "You've been with ... what about the, the seventeen-thousand-"

Magnus shakes his head fondly, warmth filling him like liquid sunshine in his veins. "Seventeen thousand people, Alexander ... I wasn't in love with them all. There's only been a few people, that I've truly loved - and none of them can match the depth of my feelings for you. Out of seventeen thousand, you are the  _one_  that means the most."

Alec's eyes are shining, though not from tears, but unbridled happiness. "You're the only one for me," He replies, with his characteristic brand of honesty, bleeding from his tone like drops of wine into a glass. "I don't need to find anybody else. You're ... it."

Magnus' heart clenches tightly in his chest, but the pain is nothing compared to the soaring affection spreading out from his core. Nobody has ever,  _ever_  said those words to him. He's always just been good enough, for a night, a month, a quick fling or a string of functions to keep someone's parents from finding out the truth about them, a nostalgic reminder of someone's past but not enough for their future.

Magnus is the one people would turn to for a good time, not a long time. A fleeting romance or someone to warm the bed while they're off in other countries with other men - he's been with people until their dying days, but he's never been  _it._

He's never been the one held above others, never been the first and last and only.

Then again, he's never known anyone quite like Alec Lightwood, either.

"There's never been anybody like you, before." Magnus admits. He sounds quiet, and melancholy, and it's not intentional because there's nothing sad about it, necessarily, it's just a fact.

Time Magnus may have in endless abundance, but true love? That, is a terrifying and incredible first.

Alec seems to understand though. He always does. "I hope that's a good thing," He replies, shyly, head inclined just slightly so that his eyes seem to be actually glittering.

"My love," Magnus exhales, softly, unable to calm down the force of his heart nor the drowning swell of utter adoration crashing over him. "Being unique is always a good thing. The capacity you take up inside of my heart - which is ninety-nine percent, if you're curious, the remaining one-percent controlled by that which I feel for friends - is impossible. I've never given so much of my heart to one person before, and it is, I must admit, a little frightening."

"I promise," Alec replies, hands warm against Magnus' back. "I'll do my best to look after it. I won't break it, not if I can help it."

Even after all of this time, even with everything they've been through, it still strikes Magnus how truly  _young_  Alec is. Yet, with that, comes a determination to not let his lack of prior experience interfere with the relationship; he pours his everything into what he does, but he's aware that there'll be times where he messes up, and he'll go to any lengths he can to fix it.

"I know that you won't break my heart," Magnus assures him, squeezing his arm. "I trust you with it, completely, because I know that you'll look after it."

"I trust you with mine, too." Alec replies, words gushing out as though he's possessed by an urge to say it before the moment passes. "I always have. Even before I knew what to do with it."

"You know," Magnus tries to speak above the roar in his ears. "If there was such a title as 'sappiest couple of New York', the crown would go to us."

Alec grins, leaning down until there's nothing more between their mouths than a slip of air. "We're already cute enough to make people jealous," He mumbles against Magnus' lips. "I'm not sure we need another title, although I do like the sound of that one."

"I suppose being 'power couple of New York' is already quite fitting, we wouldn't want to seem obnoxious."

Alec half-smiles, half-kisses the corner of Magnus' mouth. "Of course we wouldn't."

The kiss that follows is as slow as their dancing, and just as tender. It's a warm caress of lips and bumping noses, chests that press together close enough for their heartbeats to synch, distance nothing more than an idealised concept.

Alec is the light that brightens Magnus' life, and it should have occurred to him sooner that returning home, pulling Alec into his arms and swaying to a song he can barely pay attention to, is the only remedy he needed for his horrible day.

No ill-feelings can last when Alec is there to outshine them.

**Author's Note:**

> Is anyone surprised at the level of domesticity? It seems to have become my thing. (I have to admit, I'm really enjoying this tiny little filler scenes. Might be more in the future...)
> 
> bonus thanks to [Jan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Pameluke/pseuds/Pameluke) for the music recommendations; although it was a small reference in this, I am keeping your suggestions in mind for the future...
> 
> LINKS (if you're interested): 
> 
> Twitter: [ninwrites](https://mobile.twitter.com/ninwrites) for fic stuff/updates/snippets + [malteser_24](https://mobile.twitter.com/malteser_24) for general fandom mess
> 
> Tumblr: [killjoyrow](http://killjoyrow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you for reading - I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it.
> 
> \- Nin ❤
> 
> P.S 
> 
> *announcement time* [MalecFicLibrary](https://twitter.com/malecficlibrary) are doing an event on November 1st - National Author's Day - to celebrate and appreciate fic writers and the stories we create. Readers and writers are invited to share their experiences and thoughts relating to fic, and I encourage everyone who feels comfortable, to do so - it's such a lovely idea, and after recent events, we need a little love to spread around the fandom.
> 
> You can find the post [here](https://malecficlibrary.tumblr.com/post/166105574139/share-your-appreciation-for-shadowhunters-fics-and) where it is explained better than I could ever try ❤


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